Sexual performance for men can be a great source of pride or shame. Many men base their performance on the amount of time they last and how much they could please their partner. But what happens when this goes wrong and pride becomes embarrassment or shame. This dilemma of premature ejaculation is faced by one in three men at some point in their life.
Sexual performance can be affected by many factors including stress, anxiety, arousal, premature ejaculation (PE), and erectile dysfunction (ED). The good news is that there are a variety of natural and medicated ways to last longer in bed.
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The average time to last in bed
A study of over 500 couples from the UK, America, Netherlands, Spain, and Turkey concluded that the average time to reach orgasm was 5.4 minutes. While this is the average, there is no optimal duration of sex. What works for you and your partner is ultimately up to you, both satisfied with short sex? No problem. Marathon sex sessions are for you? Great. Provided all involved are satisfied, there’s nothing to worry about. But when this isn’t the case, it can be distressing.
What is premature ejaculation?
Medically premature ejaculation is defined as a penetrative ejaculation time of under 1-2 minutes. In a broader sense, any sex that is short enough to cause regular dissatisfaction can be distressing and cause future performance anxiety.
It’s this performance anxiety that can cause men to get conditions such as ED, as sexual desire is lessened from feelings of shame or embarrassment.
PE can be split into two categories, men who have lifelong PE since they were first sexually active or men who have acquired PE. Lifelong PE is often due to natural penis oversensitivity whereas acquired PE is often the result of stress, general anxiety or performance anxiety.
Both can be managed or treated with a mix of behavioural techniques and medicines.
What is erectile dysfunction?
ED is the inability to gain or maintain an erection well enough for sex. Anxiety due to PE can be largely responsible for ED as fear around how long men last can put men off sex altogether, making it difficult for them to gain erections. Thankfully this can be treated in a variety of ways including addressing anxiety and various medicines.
Take an assessment to see what ED treatment is right for you
How to last longer in bed naturally
Many men do not want to rely on pills and creams to delay ejaculation and you don’t have to. There are many behavioural techniques to assist in lengthening sex and improving your sex life.
Increasing the duration of sex is not always about just the penetration. A study has found satisfaction and duration of sex can be improved by lengthening the amount of foreplay before penetration even occurs. For female partners, foreplay can increase clitoral stimulation as more blood rushes to the area.
The Squeeze Technique
The squeeze technique or squeeze method involves withdrawing the penis and applying pressure for 10-20 seconds just underneath the head of the penis by using the thumb and index finger. The break-in sex and pressure cause the desire to ejaculate to go away and sex can continue.
The Stop-Start Technique
Just like it sounds, this technique has you withdraw or stop thrusting once you begin to feel like ejaculating. Once the feeling subsides you may start again.
Kegels also known as pelvic floor exercises are not just for women. Men can gain much more control over ejaculation by strengthening the muscles around the penis. Not only this but pelvic floor exercises are also used to treat erectile dysfunction by increasing blood flow around the penis.
A well-known technique, distracting yourself by thinking of something non-sexual can greatly help in lasting longer in bed. Thoughts that are mundane without causing stress work the best such as maths, what you need on your next Tesco visit, or your favourite movie. It sounds ridiculous but the reduction in arousal will allow you to last longer during sex.
Too much sexual tension and arousal can hurt sexual performance, particularly when it comes to lasting longer. Try masturbating a few hours before sex to lower tension and arousal. Ensure you do not do this too close to the act, like minutes before sex as this can lead to short term erectile dysfunction.
Sex therapy (couple or single)
Sex therapists specialise in improving sexual health and helping those who feel anxiety around sex. Often conditions such as PE or ED can be cured (if they are related to anxiety) with the right methods from sexual therapists. Sessions can be taken alone or with a partner for additional support and ways to work through the problems.
Different sex positions offer different levels of stimulation for both partners. On top often has the most control over how much pleasure they experience as they usually control the tempo. Because of this, it can help you last longer in bed if you use positions you may find less stimulating. The added benefit is your partner may find these positions even better for their stimulation.
Treatments for premature ejaculation
Those who regularly experience premature ejaculation may find a medical treatment that helps them to last longer in bed. These PE treatments are well studied and registered in the UK and many places around the world.
Pills for lasting longer in bed
Priligy (dapoxetine) is a premature ejaculation treatment that can help men last 3 times longer than usual according to a study. This success satisfied 80% of the men who used it. For more detailed information on Priligy visit our medicine page.
Take an assessment and order Priligy for PE today from £21.49
Emla numbing cream
Emla is a numbing cream that can be applied to desensitise the penis. Reducing the sensitivity of the penis allows you to last longer in bed. The cream should be applied 10-15 minutes before sex to absorb, then wiped away to ensure it doesn’t go onto your partner.
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A study on ejaculation time found that using condoms alone did not greatly affect ejaculation time. However, condom companies have cleverly come up with condoms to help men last longer in bed. To do this, they have placed a small amount of a numbing agent, like benzocaine, inside the condom to slightly numb the penis.
How to treat PE caused by ED
If you are experiencing both PE and ED, it is highly recommended you treat the ED first as treatments for ED can often help with both conditions. ED treatment options are: